Our Approach

 Interactive. Open minded. Curious. Supportive. Real.

Clients should feel heard and get feedback on what they bring to therapy. Sessions are interactive, conversational and educational. How the process goes, is entirely up to you! Client (you) and clinician (us) develop goals for the therapeutic process that are realistic and attainable and will lead to you feeling better than when you started. But remember, therapy only works when you do!

Our Principles of Therapy (just to give you an idea of how this works)

1. It is always about you.

Often people come to therapy thinking that their problems or dissatisfactions lie within other people's behaviors. Well, I'm here to tell you that is not exactly true. Others can only affect us with their behaviors when we have a belief about ourselves that they trigger (ask about the white hotdog). Learning to understand what negative core beliefs you hold about yourself and how they are impacting your interactions with others is the key to setting yourself up for lots of self-love and understanding. The way we work on this is by putting our thoughts on trial. Rational thoughts can stay. Irrational ones need to go!

2. Thoughts fuel emotions.

Many clients come into therapy feeling like they are on an emotional rollercoaster, not knowing that their thoughts are fueling that process. The good news is, you can train your brain! Our thoughts happen so fast, that we often don't even realize we are having them. Paying attention to our thoughts every time we have an emotional response allows us to recognize the negative thoughts (and positive ones) that are setting the stage for our emotional states. We often have a perception that our brain does it’s own thing but we can train the brain and we can create new results.

 

3. There is another way.

All behavior is learned,  which means it can be unlearned. We only know what we know, which is what we saw modeled by adults in our lives when we were children. These models showed us the way that human adults behave and interact. And when we become adults, and meet up with other adults, who had different models, sometimes the way we do business doesn't match up. When we get stuck in the perspective that our way is the "right way" and someone else's way is wrong, we set ourselves up to have difficult relationships. The good news is that we can learn to widen our perspective and see other people's ways of doing things as just that, other ways. Another way. By cultivating a mindset of empathy, curiosity and acceptance, we can learn to relate in ways that help our relationships work better.

4. Patterns of interaction are changeable.

Humans have this habit of feeling comfortable when they are pretty sure of the outcome. The unknown is scary due to its lack of predictability. So we tend to get into patterns of interaction with the people in our lives, based on what seems like it works. Until it doesn't, and then we get stuck. But there is hope! Patterns of interaction are changeable, meaning you have the power to change the way you interact with others, which often leads to helping those others create new ways of interacting with you! Together we can look at those patterns and figure out where to intervene so that we can fix what is not working and help create new, healthier ways of connecting.

5. Mental health and physical health are synergistic.

Synergy is an interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements. When we focus on our physical health as a way of improving our mental health, we hit the figurative jackpot. Together we can examine diet, lifestyle, and physical exercise to see where we can intervene for improvements in mental health. 

 

Let's get started on a happier path! Set up a consultation by calling us at (203) 859-9335 or emailing the office at info@wholesoulcounseling.com.